BDSM Tips: 8 Golden Rules for a Safe and Sexy Time

Are you and your partner getting ready to try BDSM? It’s normal and can even lead to better mental health and a stronger relationship.

If you’re taking the brave step forward, don’t jump into the lion’s den without a bit of preparation. Learn how to have fun and still stay safe by following a few reasonable BDSM tips.

Fortunately, you don’t need to look far for BDSM tips for beginners. We’ve got eight listed below, so strap in and learn more right here:

1. Discuss Limits

Don’t waste time in establishing a few BDSM rules. Learn your limits and your partner’s limits.

Keep in mind these get segregated into two: soft limits and hard limits. The former refers to boundaries that you can gently push and experiment with. The latter are boundaries that you should not, for whatever reason, try to cross.

Never jump into a BDSM session without making your limits clear. Doing so is a quick route to getting hurt or overwhelmed. If needed, create a contract that lists each other’s boundaries.

2. Understand the Risks

There will always be risks when it comes to BDSM. That’s part of the thrill and fun of it. The little bit of pain and shock from light whipping, slapping, candle-play, or choking can get exciting.

However, you need to differentiate hurt from harm. Hurt is only temporary, and you can treat it quickly so that the submissive can enjoy the aftercare. It’s thrilling, and it heightens the senses, which is why some people love whipping or caning.

Harm, on the other hand, is long-term. You need to avoid this because the effects become permanent and could harm a person’s mental or emotional state.

3. Always Have a Safe Word

Now you know the limits, and you both understand the risks, it’s almost time to play. Before you do, however, practice safe BDSM by establishing a safe word.

It can’t be “no.” Saying no during a session might turn on the other person, and they’ll keep going. Instead, use words not often associated with sex, like “banana” or “chocolate.”

These words have to be simple, too, because you or your partner might wear a gag ball. When gagged, make sure there’s a substitute option like a bell tied to their wrists. This can work as a means of notifying the dominant that the submissive wants to rest or stop.

4. Aftercare Matters

Done with a session? Don’t overdo it or else you risk harming yourself or your partner. After each session, make sure you invest in aftercare.

What is BDSM aftercare? It’s a period of pampering the submissive partner. Also, keep in mind that this applies to emotional and mental care as much as it is about physical care.

Let them recover and feel loved. Pamper them not only after a session but before, too. If you want to discover more, you can learn proper aftercare methods here.

5. Stay Sober

Remember that getting intoxicated on drugs or alcohol can impede a person’s thinking. This can cause complications during the session.

These things can dull the senses and prevent someone from realizing they’re going over the limits. The submissive might not realize they’re already in too much pain, and the dominant might not know they’re harming their partner. Neither party might hear or recognize the safe words.

When it’s time to play, stay sober. You can enjoy drinking and other joys afterward.

6. Communicate Before, During, and After

Know what turns you on and what fetishes your partner favors too. Learn to communicate these desires before, during, and after your sessions. Discuss what you want to try and how you both felt after experimenting with each fetish.

Communication goes beyond words too. Moaning, nodding, playful biting, and shaking your head can signify whether you and your partner like or hate the current activity. It’s all about paying attention to these signs and words to understand what your partner enjoys and what they don’t find fun.

7. Start Slowly

Are you excited to try breath-play? Don’t jump into the more extreme methods right away. Before you start wrapping your partner in leather or tape, start with something simple such as light choking.

The point is to start slowly. Experiment, practice, improve, and discuss each session. Let your partner inform you about how they felt and what you both can do to push things forward.

A slow start enables both parties to get comfortable. It also guarantees no one gets harmed in the long-term. As mentioned, keep communication open so you can discuss what did and didn’t work.

8. Check Your Toys

BDSM isn’t the same without some toys. Fortunately, there is a wide variety of toys and ideas to try out.

That said, start with something simple like an egg vibrator or a basic dildo.

However, starting small isn’t the only safety tip. You have to check the quality of your toys. For example, you may want to use proper cuffs or rope instead of straps or light fabrics to bind your partner. Leather or other materials could harm their wrists, or they could tighten to the point that it disrupts blood circulation.

Real cuffs feature a double-lock that ensures they don’t squeeze too tightly. Some dildos are easier to clean, and there’s less of a risk of infection. It’s things like these that you need to look for.

Don’t Ignore These Valuable BDSM Tips

Do not ignore essential BDSM tips like these! Following these safety rules ensures both parties can have fun without the risk of permanent harm.

BDSM is exciting and wild, but it doesn’t have to be too risky as long as you keep these tips in mind.

But why stop here when we’ve got even more sex tips and toys for you to check out? If you want to learn more, or discover new toys, feel free to ask us today!